The door didn't so much slam as click. Didn't matter. It was the finality that rang out so loudly. Spike stepped back and looked at it, incredulous. Locked out. Again. Damn.

At first he wanted to hurt something. Anything. Her. He'd proven himself trustworthy time and again. Come to her house. Been nice to her mom. He'd poured out his heart to her. Told her he loved her. What right did she have to throw him out of her house? Heartless, selfish. He laughed. That's rich, the Slayer the heartless one.

Well, he'd show her. He'd go and find some young, innocent...OUCH! OK! ...young, innocent demons and kill them all. It might not show her anything, but it'd sure make him feel better. Killing always did.

He walked away from her, down the dark, Sunnydale street, looking for trouble. Right town for it.

*********************

What a night, Buffy thought. What a night. I just want to curl up and die. Spike. Loves me. Damn.

Buffy went upstairs, and checked on her mom and Dawn. Dawn was sleeping. Mom's bed was empty. Waiting up again, huh? She found her in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee.

"Hi, hon. Did I hear Spike?"

"Yeah, mom. But you won't any more."

"Oh?"

"Tara and Willow recanted the invitation. I asked them to. He's not welcome here anymore."

"Oh. I see," her mom looked puzzled. "Buffy? Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Mom! I can't believe you're asking me that! Spike is evil! He's a danger to our family. He's obsessed with me, he's been stalking me and...and...and he's a VAMPIRE for God's sake."

"I know that. I remember. But I remember other things too. Times when he's been a friend to us. When you went to fight Glory and left Dawn and me with him. He was a perfect...well, nearly perfect gentleman. It really was rather sweet to see him fussing over us."

"I left you there because I had no choice. He's the only one who could"

"Protect us? Keep us safe? The only one, huh?" Joyce questioned. "We could've gone away, hidden out at Giles' or with Xander and Anya. But you chose Spike to do those things. Why?" She paused. Buffy was the one looking puzzled now. Her forehead was wrinkled and her bottom lip pouted.

"Sweetheart, you live a life I could never begin to understand. When I was young, the biggest danger we faced was the evil Mr. Stranger Danger. You, you face ultimate, absolute evil seven days a week. Vampires, demons, hell-gods and goddesses, aliens, even Dracula himself. On top of all that, you have all the usual 20-year-old's pressures of going to college, maintaining friendships and developing more mature relationships. I don't know how you do it. You're truly amazing." She smiled at Buffy. "Maybe it's because you've always been the strong one, but I feel I've failed you. Somehow, with all you've been, I've forgotten to be your mom."

Buffy listened quietly. "Honey, when we first moved to Sunnydale, it was the beginning of a new life for us both. I didn't know HOW new it would be for you, but when we moved to Sunnydale, I knew that we were free to begin again. No ties, no emotional baggage, no reliving the past. But I was wrong. We brought all of that stuff with us too and we should have talked about it. Talked about relationships." She ran her hand over Buffy's hair. "I'm sorry. I guess I just hoped... But let's talk this thing through now. OK?"

"Mom. You have no reason to be sorry about my inability to keep a man," Buffy protested. "It wasn't your fault that Angel left me for redemption's sake, or that I jumped right into b...another relationship with a self-centered ass, or that I couldn't admit I needed Riley until it was too late. That was me. Buffy. You've been great."

"Well, thank you, even if you are wrong. But, honey? You left out one relationship." Buffy looked at her mom, puzzled. "Spike."

"No, Mom. There IS no relationship there. NONE. ZIPPO. ZERO. NADA."

Joyce shook her head. "Yes there is, Buffy, whether you like it or not. Even if the relationship is hatred, you can't pretend it doesn't exist."

"OK, well, I guess that's it. I hate him."

"I could accept that, Buffy, if you could say that you were really hating him for what he is...not for what he was. Chip or no chip, I believe he HAS changed. I know he's still what he is. He IS a soulless demon, a vampire. But think about it. All the while he was welcome in this house, he has never abused that trust. He never did anything to threaten us."

"That's right," Willow walked into the kitchen. "I had to come back, Mrs. Summers. I knocked, but there was no answer."

"Come in, Willow. We've been talking."

"Good. That's what I wanted to do too. You're mom is right, Buffy. Earlier tonight, when you first came back and told us what he'd said to you, I was shocked. I was all, "Ewww, SPIKE?" I'll always remember when he first got the chip and tried to attack me, but couldn't. It was very scary. HE was very scary. But he's changed, Buffy. Spike HAS changed. He'd never do that now, and I don't think it's just the chip that's stopping him." Willow stopped talking.

After a few moments to think, Buffy responded, "Let's say, JUST for the sake of argument, mind you, that SPIKE has changed. Why has he changed? For me?"

"Yep," Willow confirmed with certainty.

"Willow, is that enough? Is it enough that he feels something for me? And, I'm NOT admitting its love yet. He's going to be around a long time. Someday he'll get that chip out. When that' s gone, when I'm gone, what will stop him? Some warm, fuzzy feelings he had for me? No. I don't buy it. He is dangerous and I don't want to be around when he gets loose." Buffy stalked out of the kitchen. Joyce and Willow looked at each other. This was going to take a while.

*************************

Spike prowled Sunnydale at night. Well, not so much prowled, as shoved his way through. He wasn't hunting anymore. The one demon that had gotten in his way hadn't made him feel any better after all. Instead, he was walking because he had to walk because the thought of stopping and thinking was too much. So he walked and as he walked he kicked anything in his way and he muttered to himself. "Bloody hell. Why me?" and then, "William got his feelings crushed again, didn't he? I'm 147 bleedin' years old! When will I learn?"

"Spike? You are a sorry sight. What's up? Outta cash?" Xander asked disdainfully.

Spike looked up and saw who it was. He rushed toward Xander and tackled him to the ground. His grasp was strong, until the chip kicked in and Spike let out a scream of pain. Xander jumped up, rubbing his throat. "Ah, ah, ah, Spikey. Mad equals pain. Remember?"

Spike struggled to his feet and lunged again at Xander, but only half-heartedly this time and stopped short, "Yeah, I remember."

Xander looked at Spike. He'd had a good laugh when Buffy had told him about Spike's feelings earlier today. But suddenly, facing Spike right now, it wasn't so funny. "Let's get a drink. Payday-man's treat."

"Well Okay, sure. I could use a good drunk."

They walked over to the Bronze and settled in. Even the onion blossoms were gone. Damn.

Xander walked back from the bar with two shots of bourbon. "One for you, one for me." Xander sipped his. Spike downed his in one gulp.

"What? Just one?"

"Well...No. Here, have mine," Xander sat down at the table.

Spike held up the glass and waved it in salute to Xander before downing shot number two.

"So. It's true, huh? Who'd have thought." Xander was genuinely surprised.

"What?" Spike shot back. "Oh, she told you all already. Bet you all had a good laugh at my expense. Well...that's OK. I haven't any self-respect left anyway. What did she say? "Spike's all hot for me. Spike's wanting me. Disgusting!"?"

"No. Well...not exactly. Well...yes." Xander stuttered out.

Spike looked up at him and stared at him hard for two seconds.

Xander suddenly knew. He remembered feeling the same way about Buffy not too long ago. (Truth be known, he probably still did somewhere under the "Anya layer of Happiness Now".) He remembered seeing that look in his own eyes. God, it still hurt.

"Got it bad, huh?" Spike nodded once and looked down at his empty glass.

"Let me refill that for you." And he did.

"What is it she's lookin' for? I've stopped feeding, not that I had much choice in that. I've fought at her side against aliens, demons and hell-goddesses. I've taken abuse with plastic spikes, crossbow arrows, Glory's punches. I've thrown all other women out of my life. All with no complaints. Trying to earn her respect, her trust. What is it she bleedin' wants from me?"

Xander knew. He was certain. "Spike. She needs something you could never give her." Suddenly he stood up. "Follow me."

Spike raised his head and they walked out into the night.

*************************

Buffy went to her room. It seemed empty. She felt empty. She sat on her bed and looked around. Still empty. She laid down and stared up at the ceiling. She closed her eyes. She saw his face. Spike. Spike? Spike! She shook her head and opened her eyes. What was that? Why was she thinking of him? The room was getting smaller. Time to patrol.

She grabbed her usual arsenal these days, just two stakes. More was too much and wouldn't hurt Glory anyway.

She slipped on her coat. She looked at her door. Mom would want to talk more. She slid out the window.

She dropped to the ground and felt herself looking at the tree across the street. She'd known for a long time that he'd been lurking there at night. Funny, she thought, it never bothered her before. She'd never told him to leave or cut it out. "I was just too lazy to bother with him. I had other things on my mind," she said to herself. Now it was like her room. Empty. She turned and walked down the street. She'd go and find some young, obviously evil demons and kill them all. It might not prove anything, but it'd sure make her feel better. Killing always did.

*************************

"This is it? Xander, boy, you've lost what little mind you had." They stood on the ridge overlooking Sunnydale.

"Sorry, fella, but this is what she needs from you."

"Don't get it."

"Spike, when you fight, on our side I mean, what are you fighting for?"

"Easy. For her."

"See, that's just it. That's why you'll never get her. 'Cuz, you just don't get it." Spike waited. Xander looked at him sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. "OK, let's look at it this way. What do you think she's fighting for?"

Another easy one, "To save the world from us bad 'uns."

"Wrong," Xander explained. "Buffy doesn't fight for personal triumph or glory. Buffy fights for us. For me, for Willow, Tara, her mom, Dawn. For them." Xander pointed at Sunnydale, "Spike, you hate people. We are beneath you because we're not immortal, because we're weak and frightened. Buffy finds humanity in those faults. She finds each and every person worthy of a Slayer's sacrifice."

"Bull. She does it because it's in her nature to kill. Just like me. She's in it for the excitement, the adventure, the danger."

"You were human once. Do you remember what it was like to be dependent, lonely, scared, overwhelmed by stronger...things? All the time?" Xander thought for a second more before he spoke. "I think she kinda sees us all as the children she'll never have and when we feel that lost feeling, Buffy is willing to do anything for us. She'll never love you because you don't love us."

Xander, looked over at him. Spike was silent. Listening. Spike was, for the first time in a VERY long time, truly himself. Xander left him...alone.

*****************************

Buffy found herself in the cemetery. At his crypt. She hadn't meant to come here and she didn't remember getting there, but there she was.

She stood outside his door for a long time. Her senses were alert. Her spidery Slayerish sense told her that trouble was not far, but not imminent. So she stood. Why was he making this so hard? Why wouldn't he just go away?

She thought about what he'd told her. About William. She tried to picture him the quiet, mousy man he described. Fueling unrequited love with poetry. Crushed and weeping, humiliated. She pitied him, she understood the loss of love. The pain of it. She imagined his face, sad, sorrowful, hurt. But none of that man was left. It was all Spike now. No writer's soul...no soul at all. But still...something pulled at her memory...there was something

Glory tiptoed out of the bushes as well as any hell-goddess can tiptoe in high heels. "Well, hello," she called. Buffy didn't hear. "HEL-LO. Slayer!" Buffy had been caught not paying attention. What had all that training been for if not to be prepared and ready? Caught. Slowly she turned around.

"I thought I might find you visiting your boyfriend," Glory grinned.

"He's NOT my boyfriend." Buffy said, with less conviction than last time.

"OK, hon. If you say so. Now it's time for you to tell me where my key is. I'm out of time and out of patience. It's now or never. If you don't tell me NOW, I'll have my minions make Slayer hamburger while I go kill your friends and family myself. I think I start with your little sister...you two are so close."

Buffy looked around. There were at least six of the little robed men with swords. Not bad odds for the Slayer, but it would still take time. Time that Glory would use to get closer to home. "Wait, Glory," Buffy called after her.

"Yes?"

"What will happen? When you find the key?"

Glory smiled. "I guess it doesn't matter anymore. There's no time for you to do anything about it anyway, so I'll tell you." Glory stepped closer to Buffy, closed her eyes and started to giggle. "It's so much fun. I haven't been free for quite a long time, you know, but I remember. There's screaming and blood, sacrifice and lots and lots of Glory worship. I'm all-powerful and adored. I never want for anything. Never cold, never hungry, never lonely, never...Hey!" Buffy had taken a step towards the crypt. She stopped. "It's enough, Slayer, that you know you don't want to be around when it happens. Unless" Glory had an evil thought. "Slayer," she sang, "What is it you want? When I have my key I can give you anything in the world. Riches...clothes...cities. What is your little heart's desire?"

Buffy, never at a loss for words...was. Her heart. All she knew about her heart right now was that it was very, very heavy. She sat down, right there on the ground outside the crypt. No smart remarks, no violence, nothing but, "I don't know," she admitted.

There was a rustle in the bushes beside her as Spike came home. Glory looked up. Buffy didn't. "Well, well. The boyfriend," she said pointedly to Buffy, making sure that she knew she'd been corrected.

Spike laughed. "Got that all wrong, lady. Couldn't be more off base."

Buffy looked up now. She'd actually never been so glad to see Spike than at that moment. She knew he must have seen Glory but here he was stepping into battle with her...again. She looked at him with new eyes. Had he changed? Really? With that chip in, would she ever really know? Suddenly an idea sparked in Buffy. "Glory?" she called, "if you want me to tell you where the key is, I need to know how powerful you really are. I know you can fight better than all of us combined, but what else can you do?"

Turning toward her, Glory almost lost her patience, but on second thought she might have a shot here. She took it. "Well, of course, after I have my key, I'll be free to do anything, but right now? Well, I can do all sorts of tricks. I can do magic."

"Seen it," Buffy said dryly. "Not very impressive."

"The big snake you told me about? Mini-magic." Spike chimed in. He didn't know where Buffy was going with this, but he'd play along.

Glory shot him a scathing look. "I wasn't talking to you, blondie." Then she turned back to Buffy and continued, "I can reach into people's heads."

"You mean read minds?" Buffy asked innocently.

"No. I mean I can reach into people's heads. It's a special little skill I have. Wanna see?" Glory took a quick step toward Spike and before he could do anything more than look surprised she was inside him. Buffy watched as Glory's fingertips disappeared into Spike's skull. She knew it had been a risk, but it was just Spike and Glory wasn't hungry, just demonstrating.

"What is that?" Glory asked as she pulled a small plastic chip out of Spike's head. Spike fell to the ground, in pain, but chipless. Buffy was on her feet instantly. Glory was still examining the chip in her hand when Buffy pushed her, face-first into a tree and ran. She could easily outrun the minions but knew she couldn't beat Glory. So she ducked inside the crypt, leaving Spike to fend for himself. He would. He could. She dropped down into the lower level and made for the sewers. Glory wouldn't follow her. Glory would head for her home. Buffy had to get there first.

**************************

Everyone jumped when the sirens went off. "Glory!" Tara yelped as the door flew open. And Glory was mad. She crossed the room in a flash and chose to start with Xander. One punch and he was out cold. On the floor, bleeding. Her next punch caught Joyce in the stomach and sent her reeling against the wall. Giles was just able to get a chair in the air when she turned toward him. Her first move shattered the wood. Her second, his jaw.

"Stop it," Buffy called from the doorway. "Don't touch them."

"Sweetie, you pissed me off. I'm not responsible for this. You are. I don't have any time left and if I have to go back, I'm not going happy."

Dawn was the closest. Glory's fist hit Dawn's chest, hard, and Dawn spun to the floor. Her eyes grew wide as she tried to breathe and couldn't. Glory kept swinging at everyone, but Buffy rushed to Dawn's side. "Dawn," Buffy cried, "hang on. Just keep breathing." There was destruction all around her. She heard Willow scream and saw Xander get up only to fall back down again, but she couldn't move. She couldn't take her eyes off Dawn and the small trickle of blood that ran from the corner of her mouth. Then Dawn twitched and sighed a horrible, last breath sound. Buffy trembled. As Dawn died in her arms, a pale green light began to glow. Through her tears, Buffy knew the energy appearing was the key, was the essence of what Dawn had been and she watched it brighten around her.

Glory saw it too. "My key!" As she reached out to grab it her fingertips sent off showers of electricity. Buffy closed her eyes and covered Dawn's body with hers, prepared for the worst. And then...nothing. Quiet. Silence deeper than any she'd ever known.

"Where'd she go?" Willow asked heavily.

"She just disappeared," Tara replied.

"It was her time," said a voice from the door. It was Dreg. The robed priest walked over to where Glory had been standing. "Oh Great and Magnificent Glorificus," he called out to the air above where she'd been, "forgive we minions. We've failed you yet again." He fell to his knees and trembled. After what seemed a long time, he stood up, folded his hands and bowed to Buffy. "The lovely Glorificus ruled over the earth for lifetimes, but when she was strongest, in the dark ages, nearly 4,000 years ago, a very powerful druid trapped her through trickery and locked her away in another reality. We, her faithful followers, know that every 100 years or so, the stars are aligned in such a way that the lock is visible and although she is not yet free, we can see her with us and know her beauty."

A shadow fell across the doorway as Spike looked in. He leaned on the doorframe as the small robed priest continued, 'The Knights of Byzantium learned of the key nearly 1,000 years ago and have been searching ever since to destroy it before it can free our goddess from her prison. This time, you have thwarted us. Next time, we will begin our search with you and you will not be so fortunate." With that he stepped to the door, waited for Spike to move and left.

The green glow of the key swirled about the room and slowly dissipated.

Buffy sat up. She looked around the room; at Giles with his hand on his chin, at Xander helping Joyce stand, at Willow's broken arm and then down at Dawn. A scream ripped out of her throat. It was raw pain. Never had she known such agony and loss. She screamed again and again and then the tears came, unstoppable. The others stood by, knowing that this was Buffy's pain, there was nothing they could do. But Spike couldn't stand it. He pounded the door frame with his fist.

"Joyce, please," he begged. "Please, let me in."

Joyce looked at Spike and knew it was right. She nodded.

In an instant, Spike was kneeling at Buffy's side, his arm around her.

Buffy looked at him, surprised at the comfort, but...not.

She looked again. He was crying.

He was crying.

He reached out and stroked Dawn's hair. He bent down and kissed her brow and whispered something only Buffy heard, "'bye Niblet."

Buffy looked again. Spike was crying. Without the chip.

After a long time, Buffy laid Dawn's body down on the floor and walked over to where Joyce sat with Willow, Tara and Xander.

"Mom, I'm sorry I couldn't save her. I'm so sorry."

"Joyce reached out to Buffy, "She was my daughter, as much as you are, but just like you, she had a greater calling. Now, that Glory's prison is closed for good, Dawn is fulfilling her destiny." She paused. "How are you going to fulfill yours?"

Joyce looked past Buffy to where Spike was standing. Buffy thought it was time for them to have a real talk.

*************************

"Why'd you do it, luv?" Spike asked once everyone had been attended to and they were alone.

"The chip?"

"Yeah."

"I came to talk to you, but I suddenly realized that with the chip in your head, I'd never really know if you'd changed, or what your true feelings were. One way or the other I had to know. One way or the other, I had to find out. Glory's skills were convenient."

"Buffy, I have changed. Even though I can do this again," his face vamped and quickly returned, "I could never hurt you...or the Scoobies...or your family." He stepped nearer.

"I know," Buffy responded softly. "But..."

"Or anyone else," he finished. "I had a talk with Xander, of all people. I don't think he meant to, but he made me remember a lot of things about William. Who, other than being a bit foppish, a really bad poet and a sorry lover, wasn't such a bad guy. He may not have liked it, but he understood that being human meant living the pain and the joy, both. Buff, you'll keep reminding me of that too, won't you?"

Buffy looked up at Spike. Her mortal enemy. And she smiled to herself. He wasn't mortal, was he?

Spike reached for her. She didn't step back, she didn't flinch. Her eyes widened as she realized that she actually wanted to feel his arms around her.

FIN